Repairing Trust by Owning your Mistakes.

Owning our mistakes is a vital aspect of rebuilding trust that can revolutionize our leadership approach, boost trust, and yield remarkable results.

One early job in my career involved managing customer complaints at a cell phone company. We had a technical edge, were a generation ahead of competitors, offered exceptional customer experience, and nurtured a vibrant culture. Then, there was Dennis.

Dennis seemed to carry a perpetual cloud over his cell phone service. No matter our efforts, every attempt to assist him led to a catastrophe. Our history with Dennis was a saga of errors compounding errors. His justified grievances were so numerous that we, the Complaints Team, recognized him by the sound of his voice, like an old friend.

One Friday afternoon, yet another call from Dennis notified us of a blunder. As a professional relying heavily on our service to manage his growing business, he couldn't afford these mistakes. Frustration was pushing us toward ending our relationship until I spotted an opportunity.

To rebuild trust, I began by ensuring Dennis and I had a shared understanding of the problem by recapping what I had understood. I also offered an effective apology. For most clients with a "medium-size, unlikely to reoccur" issue, we typically waived their current phone bill. But for Dennis, this wasn't a good solution. Dennis didn’t really care about the money, and through no fault of his own he was a high-cost, low-revenue client. With some strategic adjustments, we could transform our relationship into a low-cost, (low customer effort!) high-revenue gem.

Dennis's business, I knew, thrived on weekend client acquisitions, making his cell phone the linchpin of his trade. As a next step, we usually considered ending the contract without fees, but this time it wasn't the right choice. Dennis wanted to stay, so I offered an unorthodox solution – a vanity phone number. I found a number spelling out his profession. Dennis had been waiting for this at a competitor for years.

With this unique solution, Dennis and I knew we had a great gesture of our goodwill, and he could stay with us – while paying his bill! However, a twist was waiting. The vanity number was publicly available, and my attempt to secure it led to an unexpected error… In a moment of hubris, I inadvertently disrupted Dennis's service, rendering his phone useless during a crucial selling period. To compound matters, most engineers had left for the weekend, and contacting Dennis was impossible.

Thankfully, a colleague came to the rescue, dedicating her evening to fixing my error. (I think I still owe you for this, Ketrena! ) Once Dennis's service was restored, I called him and made an honest, effective apology. To my surprise, our conversation became one of my most memorable customer interactions. I owned up to my mistake, and we shared a laugh about his ill-fated relationship with our service. As a gesture of goodwill, he even offered his professional services to me, gratis.

The evening had begun with discussions on parting ways but ended with Dennis still a paying client. What turned the tide were three fundamental actions:

·       Owning our mistakes

·       Crafting mutually beneficial solutions

·       Deploying effective apologies

Owning Our Mistakes:

Rebuilding trust hinges on owning our mistakes, a profound act of accountability and integrity. It entails taking full responsibility for errors, recognizing their impact, and proactively seeking resolutions. True ownership involves honesty and transparency, devoid of excuses or blame-shifting. It's about learning from errors, adapting, and preventing their recurrence. Embracing mistakes showcases integrity, care for others, and a commitment to personal and professional growth. It fosters trust, encourages open communication, and ultimately enhances relationships and performance.

Creating Mutually Beneficial Solutions:

My primary goal with Dennis was mending our client-provider relationship, but I also aimed to restore profitability. Building a flawless customer service team is feasible with an infinite budget, but excelling in both customer experience and profitability is the challenge.

The next step involved crafting "win-win" solutions, where all parties gain without one side prevailing at the other's expense. This seemingly simple but intricate task necessitates active listening, understanding each party's interests, and exploring creative solutions that cater to everyone's goals. Dennis and I identified two core concepts:

·       Ensuring Dennis enjoyed the best cell phone experience possible

·       Reducing his need to contact us or the Industry Ombudsman

Together, we prioritized mutual gains over adversarial positions, leading to a more gratifying and sustainable outcome. This approach, crucially, not only repaired trust but also fueled compromise, effective problem-solving, and value creation for all.

Effective Apologies:

The term "apology" can stir mixed emotions, particularly among legal professionals. For an apology to be “effective” it must contain three essential components, which each are vital to addressing harm:

·       Acknowledge specific actions or mistakes and accept responsibility

·       Express genuine remorse and sincere regret for the harm caused

·       Offering a meaningful plan for restitution or change – as the apologizer you must be seen to give something up – be it reputation, money (or a vanity phone number)…

Some legal experts advise against apologies, but jurisprudence has been evolving to allow apologies due to their powerful impact in conflict resolution. This has led to the emergence of "apology laws" in various jurisdictions, which aims to protect statements of apology or expressions of sympathy from legal repercussions, encouraging open and empathic communication. Apology laws can be classified as:

• Partial Protection: Those laws which protect sympathy but admit fault, potentially hindering transparent communication.

• Total Protection: Laws which safeguard the entire apology, promoting open and sincere dialogue, and

• Specific Apology Laws: Laws specific to certain industries, particularly healthcare, which carry industry-specific provisions.

These laws exist across a broad range of jurisdictions including at least 38 states in the USA, Canada, Australia and England & Wales.

Recap

To mend trust with those you've wronged, embrace these behaviors:

• Have the courage to own and rectify your mistakes

• Master the art of crafting mutually beneficial solutions

• Harness the power of effective apologies and apply them diligently.

These actions won't just rebuild trust – they will fortify it, fostering stronger and more enduring relationships.